When I woke up in the morning I heard my dad snoring down the hall way. As I pulled my blanket off I had goose bumps and I was shivering. The smell of eggs on toast was coming from the kitchen. "Mmmm that smells nice," I thought. I took off my blanket and ran to the kitchen. When I got there my mum was standing beside the stove with the frying pan. "Good morning son, breakfast is ready," said Mum.
Monday, 31 March 2014
Show not Tell
When I woke up in the morning I heard my dad snoring down the hall way. As I pulled my blanket off I had goose bumps and I was shivering. The smell of eggs on toast was coming from the kitchen. "Mmmm that smells nice," I thought. I took off my blanket and ran to the kitchen. When I got there my mum was standing beside the stove with the frying pan. "Good morning son, breakfast is ready," said Mum.
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Hi, Wiremu. My name is Kevin Reese and I am student in EDM310 at the University of South Alabama. You’ve been chosen as the student for me to make a blog comment. It is great to see your school using Project Based Learning and the many other 21st Century tech tools available to you. You and your peers appear to be very happy in school with the way that Mrs. Squires is teaching you. Your blog reminded me of someone telling a nice narrative of how they start their day. The imagery you used had me rubbing my arms because of the goose bumps from the cold that you felt. It seems that you got some energy when you smelt the eggs and toast cooking, adding excitement to your story. By telling your story in such a clear way, you made it seem like I was actually seeing your mum standing there with the frying pan full of eggs. Your blog was fun to read and thank you for sharing the summary of that morning with us. Take care and I wish you success in your educational years and beyond.
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